I go to Vegas to visit my family, not gamble. Although this time I did gamble. I made the decision to stay at the Stratosphere and not with family. I also got a rental car (Kia Soul, thank you). Best decision, EVER! I didn't feel pressured to spend time with family, I did my own thing and did some neat photography, visited family, family visited me, and I had time with my nephew, and got a haircut.
My family can be intense. My sister and I are already planning how we're going to do Vegas for the holidays. Even though they are intense, I love them very much. I would love to do this again. The money is so worth the frustration.
Nothing really new on the medication front. Nothing new on the job front. I have alot of phone calls to make tomorrow. And after that's done, I can start working on how I'm going to answer questions that I should have been able to answer, but wasn't able to, like "What are some comprehension strategies for readers who struggle?" Deer in headlights look... I'm a reading specialist, I should know this... Deer in headlights look... smile... On to the next question...crap.
So I'm going to write out some key points and bring them with me to the interview, kinda like cheat sheets, but I think it's fine, given the situation... we'll call them ADA accomodations.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Unexpected Quickie Trip
After the talking to we got in Board Chambers about what my position is and isn't, I decided to go out to Vegas. We're supposed to make phone calls, which I can do from Vegas, and positions for me are few and far between. I've figured out how much I really am qualified to teach, and it's not much, I think, unfortunately. I'll call down to Springfield for help some time in the next few weeks, but not until Tuesday!!! I'm out to Vegas. I'm actually going to be a "tourist" even though my family lives there! First on the agenda, Mom's house!
I'll be gone from the 8th until the 13th.
I was worried that this was a bit of a manic episode, but I can tell it's not. Everything I've been doing has been in preparation for the trip. I haven't bought anything, I haven't gotten strange ideas in my head, I haven't had any impulse buys, I haven't been up all night, and I've been eerily calm in my head. The only thing that I'm thinking of is what needs to be planned for the trip. Again, advance planning. I'm bringing a book to try and read. It's the next in the series of Rick Riordian. This was an impulse buy back in the day.
Here's to a great mini vacation!
Meds:
.5 Seroquel
1500mgLithium
2000mg Depakote
100mg Lamictal
100mg Levothyroxine
I'll be gone from the 8th until the 13th.
I was worried that this was a bit of a manic episode, but I can tell it's not. Everything I've been doing has been in preparation for the trip. I haven't bought anything, I haven't gotten strange ideas in my head, I haven't had any impulse buys, I haven't been up all night, and I've been eerily calm in my head. The only thing that I'm thinking of is what needs to be planned for the trip. Again, advance planning. I'm bringing a book to try and read. It's the next in the series of Rick Riordian. This was an impulse buy back in the day.
Here's to a great mini vacation!
Meds:
.5 Seroquel
1500mgLithium
2000mg Depakote
100mg Lamictal
100mg Levothyroxine
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Vacation
I haven't been posting mostly because I don't want to deal with the hassle of my internet provider. But, now at the library, I can update a few things. I am going on vacation! I'm going to Las Vegas to visit my family and I'm hoping that it will keep me going until December.
We were told what our rights and responsibilities are yesterday for my job. I'm in the reappointed job pool. We get to have 30 days excused paid with no work responsibilities other than looking for a job. My first day on Monday I am going to make some phone contacts that I had started over the summer.
Not too much different in the medication department. Really trying to watch in case a manic episode should appear when Seroquel is completely gone. I'm down to 150mg.
My obliviousness is even more obvious now. I ask really dumb questions. I mean questions that can be found on a sign, menu, or building. Geez! That is so frustrating, like yesterday, I asked what is your phone number. One person said well you have both of mine on the letter you got, the other person said oh my phone numbers are... Whatever... I've gotten used to people pointing out the obvious.
Medications: 150 mg Seroquel
1500 mg Lithium
2000mg Depakote
100mg Lamictal
100mg Levothyroxine for hypothyroidism
10mg Ambien for sleep
We were told what our rights and responsibilities are yesterday for my job. I'm in the reappointed job pool. We get to have 30 days excused paid with no work responsibilities other than looking for a job. My first day on Monday I am going to make some phone contacts that I had started over the summer.
Not too much different in the medication department. Really trying to watch in case a manic episode should appear when Seroquel is completely gone. I'm down to 150mg.
My obliviousness is even more obvious now. I ask really dumb questions. I mean questions that can be found on a sign, menu, or building. Geez! That is so frustrating, like yesterday, I asked what is your phone number. One person said well you have both of mine on the letter you got, the other person said oh my phone numbers are... Whatever... I've gotten used to people pointing out the obvious.
Medications: 150 mg Seroquel
1500 mg Lithium
2000mg Depakote
100mg Lamictal
100mg Levothyroxine for hypothyroidism
10mg Ambien for sleep
Saturday, August 20, 2011
What a doozy!
I usually spend time at home typing these, but my internet is so slow that I'm using the public library. There is a new one in my neighborhood. I love it! Anyway, back to business. I will be on my way to Niagara Falls tomorrow. I planned this trip a few weeks ago and it was my first attempt at planning something for the future, since everything happened. I think I did a decent job. I have 1 activity planned and the hotel is reserved for the cheaper price and since it doesn't matter to me when I go, I got the cheaper price hotel rooms. I'm going to be on the Canadian side which will be an experience for me, but there's always time for new experiences. I have my passport packed and ready to go! That's the only thing I have ready to go.
I intended to get up and start packing and finish by afternoon. Instead, I took 2 Ambien because I couldn't sleep last night and slept until 12:30. Then, I went to drop off Drama at boarding, print my vouchers for the Behind the Falls Journey, and then pack everything like I wanted. I still have most of the day available and it's not raining now, which even better for packing (in the car).
While most of my symptoms have disappeared, and my pdoc said that they would over time, planning this trip was one, I still have some that linger, not seeing the obvious, this might just be me, but when I go to places and I'm trying to touch the screen and it's not a touch screen (like what happened this morning at the library) or when I freaked out that I didn't have enough medicine, when more was just behind my elbow. That one was pretty funny. In my brain, I move slower than I used to, or at least it feels that way.
There have been medication changes I'm sure since the last post. Currently I am on 1500mg of Lithium and 2000mg of Depakote. I know that the Depakote has been added since the last post. Using Lithium and Depakote is a strong combination, and the Depakote will be increased to at least 2500 or 3000mg. Which is a normal dose for this medication as I'm told. To me, it seems like a ton of medication, but if it's making me feel better, I'm OK! I'm also on 450mg Seroquel, with 10-20 mg Ambien as needed. In the morning, 100mg Lamictal and in the morning and Synthroid 100mg.
All the medication really keeps me in line, but there are still days when I can't sleep and I have to take Ambien twice. Once usually works for me, but when I have 2 it really knocks me out. I don't have any recollection about what I did like feed the dogs, eat, take Drama out, text anyone, pack, etc and then it usually makes me sleep for most of the day, which I've discussed earlier, but experience was quite a doozy!
I intended to get up and start packing and finish by afternoon. Instead, I took 2 Ambien because I couldn't sleep last night and slept until 12:30. Then, I went to drop off Drama at boarding, print my vouchers for the Behind the Falls Journey, and then pack everything like I wanted. I still have most of the day available and it's not raining now, which even better for packing (in the car).
While most of my symptoms have disappeared, and my pdoc said that they would over time, planning this trip was one, I still have some that linger, not seeing the obvious, this might just be me, but when I go to places and I'm trying to touch the screen and it's not a touch screen (like what happened this morning at the library) or when I freaked out that I didn't have enough medicine, when more was just behind my elbow. That one was pretty funny. In my brain, I move slower than I used to, or at least it feels that way.
There have been medication changes I'm sure since the last post. Currently I am on 1500mg of Lithium and 2000mg of Depakote. I know that the Depakote has been added since the last post. Using Lithium and Depakote is a strong combination, and the Depakote will be increased to at least 2500 or 3000mg. Which is a normal dose for this medication as I'm told. To me, it seems like a ton of medication, but if it's making me feel better, I'm OK! I'm also on 450mg Seroquel, with 10-20 mg Ambien as needed. In the morning, 100mg Lamictal and in the morning and Synthroid 100mg.
All the medication really keeps me in line, but there are still days when I can't sleep and I have to take Ambien twice. Once usually works for me, but when I have 2 it really knocks me out. I don't have any recollection about what I did like feed the dogs, eat, take Drama out, text anyone, pack, etc and then it usually makes me sleep for most of the day, which I've discussed earlier, but experience was quite a doozy!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Cleaning as I go
Most of you may already know this, but I am not the neatest person in the world. I've decided to clean one room of my house a day. If I know where something goes I put it there, If I don't it goes to the next room that will be cleaned. Who knows what happens with all the stuff I am not sure about, we'll find out at the end of the cycle. A few days ago, I cleaned my bathroom. Today, I cleaned my living room. Tomorrow or the next day will be the dining room. It's kinda exciting when I come home and it's all clean!
I signed Drama up for Leash and Recall Manners class. I would love to get her into Agility classes, she would be so good at those classes. Another one I'm thinking of is K9 Nose class. She is wonderful in those types of tasks.
I signed myself up for quilting class. All my stuff is purchased and the class is paid for, all I need to do is show up on the day. Same thing for Drama's classes.
I'm thinking of a few things to do so that I get out and enjoy some summer in the city! I'm putting the Nature Museum on my list, as well as Lincoln Park Zoo, and taking pictures all over. I think that should keep me relatively busy.
HG
I signed Drama up for Leash and Recall Manners class. I would love to get her into Agility classes, she would be so good at those classes. Another one I'm thinking of is K9 Nose class. She is wonderful in those types of tasks.
I signed myself up for quilting class. All my stuff is purchased and the class is paid for, all I need to do is show up on the day. Same thing for Drama's classes.
I'm thinking of a few things to do so that I get out and enjoy some summer in the city! I'm putting the Nature Museum on my list, as well as Lincoln Park Zoo, and taking pictures all over. I think that should keep me relatively busy.
HG
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Pedicure
I've been keeping myself busy this week. But, I've been having major problems with my medicine. First, the bood stuff, I've started running. I'm slowly getting back up to one mile. In the past, I've been able to run a 5K... and even a half marathon! But I've been able to run the 5K distance all the way through. Right now I'm at the .91 mile and if I had pushed I could have done the mile. I'm able to divide the run into quarters and run most of the run. Today, I even kept running without realizing my time was up! So, I have high hopes that I'll get to the one mile run fairly quickly.
Yesterday, I had a great time with a great group of friends. Before dinner, I had a pedicure... something I haven't done in years! My nail color is a purply lavender color. The massage was heavenly even though I had hairy legs! I got flip flops to wear to the restaurant and then so much laughter for such a long time. I needed that, and I made myself go.
Medication issues: So, the doctor doesn't think that Lithium is really working for me. Right now, I'm at the highest dose of Lithium. He says he thinks an add on of Depakote will be beneficial. I'm wondering if I could go lower on the Lithium and then have the Depakote as an add on. I'm also still on Seroquel, which the doctor wants to get me off of, but doesn't feel like he can because it's keeping me at bay and not going into hypomania, which we all know what happened last time.
About an hour after taking my nighttime medication (Seroquel and Lithium), I get this junkie feeling, like I can't stop moving my legs and arms. It makes going to bed really difficult. Usually when this happens, I take a Klonopin (which knock me out), then take a shower, which helps to alleviate the junkie feeling, then if I still am wired, I take another. If I'm getting tired after one, I'll just go to bed. If not, I'll go to bed after 2. This night time thing is the most irritating that I have had so far. Sooo irritating!
In work news, I found out I am in the reassignment pool. I appear to receive all benefits and all pay?? I don't think this is necessary fair, but it means I won't need unemployment. And, if I'm looking for a job, that's my pay?? I talked to a man from the union who said that if he had not had a literacy coach his first year, he would have never made it. We talked a little about the inequity of it all and how the district HAS money, but spends it in other ways that does not benefit our students. So, it made me feel good that the union is fighting for jobs, and the district's initiatives will change and I will be very prepared for those changes. But the thing is, right now, it sucks, looking for a job. I don't think anyone would like looking for a job. But, while I'm jobless, I'm focusing on myself, and volunteer work.
Tomorrow's the day the posting comes out! After I work on resumes and get them sent out, I plan to be watching, Friends With Benefits, hopefully for the early show!
HG
Yesterday, I had a great time with a great group of friends. Before dinner, I had a pedicure... something I haven't done in years! My nail color is a purply lavender color. The massage was heavenly even though I had hairy legs! I got flip flops to wear to the restaurant and then so much laughter for such a long time. I needed that, and I made myself go.
Medication issues: So, the doctor doesn't think that Lithium is really working for me. Right now, I'm at the highest dose of Lithium. He says he thinks an add on of Depakote will be beneficial. I'm wondering if I could go lower on the Lithium and then have the Depakote as an add on. I'm also still on Seroquel, which the doctor wants to get me off of, but doesn't feel like he can because it's keeping me at bay and not going into hypomania, which we all know what happened last time.
About an hour after taking my nighttime medication (Seroquel and Lithium), I get this junkie feeling, like I can't stop moving my legs and arms. It makes going to bed really difficult. Usually when this happens, I take a Klonopin (which knock me out), then take a shower, which helps to alleviate the junkie feeling, then if I still am wired, I take another. If I'm getting tired after one, I'll just go to bed. If not, I'll go to bed after 2. This night time thing is the most irritating that I have had so far. Sooo irritating!
In work news, I found out I am in the reassignment pool. I appear to receive all benefits and all pay?? I don't think this is necessary fair, but it means I won't need unemployment. And, if I'm looking for a job, that's my pay?? I talked to a man from the union who said that if he had not had a literacy coach his first year, he would have never made it. We talked a little about the inequity of it all and how the district HAS money, but spends it in other ways that does not benefit our students. So, it made me feel good that the union is fighting for jobs, and the district's initiatives will change and I will be very prepared for those changes. But the thing is, right now, it sucks, looking for a job. I don't think anyone would like looking for a job. But, while I'm jobless, I'm focusing on myself, and volunteer work.
Tomorrow's the day the posting comes out! After I work on resumes and get them sent out, I plan to be watching, Friends With Benefits, hopefully for the early show!
HG
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuna Chowder
I love tuna chowder. It's something that my mom found in a cookbook years ago. We still have that cookbook and the tuna chowder page is all marked up and easily found because we've used that book for that recipe so many times. A few years ago, 2008, I asked my mom for the recipe and made it today. It is one of the most used recipe papers I have. It is also one of my favorite recipes. It is usually really good in the winter, but it's good to me anytime! So I made it today, I had some extra onions and had gotten green peppers. I don't think you guys want to hear about my love for tuna chowder, although I could go on, I will talk about some recent developments.
In terms of bipolar, I have seen my pdoc a few times, I usually see him on Thursdays. I enjoy going to visit him because he is usually able to calm me down or explain certain things to me. Today, he told me that most likely the Lithium is not going to help me on it's own, so I will probably have to take an additional medication, Depakote. I'm familiar with this medication, because it's one of those antiseizure medications that helps to work with bipolar. It's not too surprising for me that I would need to take some additional medication. I can tell that the Lithium, Seroquel, Lamictal combination is not really working, although the Lithium keeps me contained, going neither too high, or too low, but I know that taking one of the medications off will mess everything up. But, for some reason, and I can't remember why, I have to get to a particular dosage of the Lithium before he can add in the Depakote. He's trying to get away from the Seroquel as soon as possible, since it's not such a great drug to be on long term.
He also said that I need to reduce my stress. One of those stress factors would be to find a job. I'm sending my resume out and making phone calls about the online portals that I need to use to upload my information so that schools can talk to me, but the online portals are not helping me. I have one page that will not load and so I am not able to submit my application, but I am working on it.
I have also applied for unemployment. This was a difficult decision, but one that needed to be made. It's not like I'm not looking, I'm having a difficult time with the looking and when you're not the only one looking, with thousands of other people looking, it is daunting, but I still keep looking. I think tomorrow I will also contact the superior of the project that was my job for 4 years. She may have some options.
Another issue that I had was the payment for my doctor. I pay him out of pocket and then insurance pays me and I've got a FSA that pays for the rest of the cost, so for the most part he is free, but it's after I've put up the money. Today, I addressed this issue with him, because I'm obviously still in a precarious position in terms of bipolar, so I was nervous about what my options were. He said that he would work something out with me until I could get a job or at least stabilized with a job. He assured me of that, which helped reduce my anxiety.
Another thing I'm working on is exercise. I haven't been able to go out, because of the heat. But I did run for 25 minutes, which for me is about 2.5 miles. I'm looking forward to getting to the 10K. I also signed up for the Hot Chocolate 15K in November. Which will give me time to work on these goals.
I tried to upload something last week, really deep and thought provoking, the computer didn't allow me to publish it.
In terms of bipolar, I have seen my pdoc a few times, I usually see him on Thursdays. I enjoy going to visit him because he is usually able to calm me down or explain certain things to me. Today, he told me that most likely the Lithium is not going to help me on it's own, so I will probably have to take an additional medication, Depakote. I'm familiar with this medication, because it's one of those antiseizure medications that helps to work with bipolar. It's not too surprising for me that I would need to take some additional medication. I can tell that the Lithium, Seroquel, Lamictal combination is not really working, although the Lithium keeps me contained, going neither too high, or too low, but I know that taking one of the medications off will mess everything up. But, for some reason, and I can't remember why, I have to get to a particular dosage of the Lithium before he can add in the Depakote. He's trying to get away from the Seroquel as soon as possible, since it's not such a great drug to be on long term.
He also said that I need to reduce my stress. One of those stress factors would be to find a job. I'm sending my resume out and making phone calls about the online portals that I need to use to upload my information so that schools can talk to me, but the online portals are not helping me. I have one page that will not load and so I am not able to submit my application, but I am working on it.
I have also applied for unemployment. This was a difficult decision, but one that needed to be made. It's not like I'm not looking, I'm having a difficult time with the looking and when you're not the only one looking, with thousands of other people looking, it is daunting, but I still keep looking. I think tomorrow I will also contact the superior of the project that was my job for 4 years. She may have some options.
Another issue that I had was the payment for my doctor. I pay him out of pocket and then insurance pays me and I've got a FSA that pays for the rest of the cost, so for the most part he is free, but it's after I've put up the money. Today, I addressed this issue with him, because I'm obviously still in a precarious position in terms of bipolar, so I was nervous about what my options were. He said that he would work something out with me until I could get a job or at least stabilized with a job. He assured me of that, which helped reduce my anxiety.
Another thing I'm working on is exercise. I haven't been able to go out, because of the heat. But I did run for 25 minutes, which for me is about 2.5 miles. I'm looking forward to getting to the 10K. I also signed up for the Hot Chocolate 15K in November. Which will give me time to work on these goals.
I tried to upload something last week, really deep and thought provoking, the computer didn't allow me to publish it.
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