Accepting

I have accepted my bipolar disorder diagnosis. Now I'm moving on to what do I need to do in order to get better. On Friday, I started taking Seroquel. This medication is to reduce mania in bipolar patients. I was taking Saphris, which gave me terrible akathesia. Seroquel knocks me out, and I am waking up more well rested. I'm on a pretty high dose and I have tapered off the Saphris. So, I'll be giving the extra medication to my doctor along with the prescription card in case someone else needs to use it. In terms of the title of this post, I find that it's really alot easier to excuse myself if I can feel something just isn't right or if I "hit a wall" in conversation. Even though my friends may not be aware of what is going on, I tell them immediately if I feel that the bipolar is going to get in the way of an activity, especially since not everything is stable, yet. I've been extremely fortunate to have an incredible amount of support around me in terms of friends and coworkers. My family has been supportive as well, listening to my stories about everything. My dad is in town right now. I think the reality of the situation hit him hard. I was telling him about having to take the medication. He could see that I was in a manic stage, where I was talking super fast, jumping up and down for new things, being a tad distractible. So, as I was telling him that I needed to have some sleep, I've been waking up at 4am daily, and talking openly about my medication, dad starts to cry. Not once or twice, but a few times throughout the days that he is visiting. I think seeing the reality of the situation and realizing that I do have a disorder and it's not just something that I say I have. My other family members have been extremely supportive as well. Everyone wants to know if I am doing ok and continuing to check in with me, making sure that I'm doing well. In terms of medication, my psychiatrist changed Saphris 25mg to Seroquel 600mg. Right now I'm taking 25mg tablets 4 times a day. And taking 500 mg tablets right before bed. This medication has really helped me in making sure I get the sleep I need. So, right now the medical count is: Lamictal 25 mgs building up to 200mg Seroquel 25mg x4+500mg at bedtime Levothyroxin 75micromilligrams of this medication for Hypothyroid.