Monday, April 11, 2011

Feeling better

So as things get to be more stable, I'm feeling more like myself. I do have periods of time where I may be manic or depressed, but they are few and far between. The manic episodes are the most prevalent right now and are slowly going away. I feel calm and relaxed and more like myself each day. As long as I take my medicine, I should be fine. The first days of my diagnosis, I had alot of time to reflect upon being bipolar and how it may have manifested itself throughout my life. As I began to think, I realized that I may have always been bipolar at least in terms of being depressed and being diagnosed with depression. What a relief to find that what I've been experiencing is "normal" for a bipolar person. I have come to terms with this fairly readily and am now focusing on getting better. With getting better, I decided to come clean with my principal, W. I had told him initially of the depression, when I could tell that I wasn't going to get better any time quickly. So, I told W about the bipolar diagnosis. That was probably one of the best things I could have done for myself. W is extremely supportive of me and my work, completely understands why I can't take a LOA during this time, and only expects as much as I can do daily. He enjoys seeing me daily and always wants to make sure I am healthy and doing well. In terms of being better, I have noticed my manic symptoms to be very decreased. I can concentrate and focus on things for longer periods of time. I still have problems focusing after extremely long periods of time (like today after 7 hours of work). But for the most part after a nap I'm good to go and doing well. The medication that I take makes me very hungry and so now I'm eating my sister, S, out of house and home! I'm eating everything and nothing is too good. I also have akathesia, which is some weird restless body thing where I can't find a good position for my body. Luckily, if I time my medications right, I don't have to worry about this. I should be back in Chicago on Thursday.

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